The Library · for parents
What Is Actually Going On, and What to Do
One page per thing a parent sees. What is happening, what to say, what to stop saying, and whose job each part is. No hype, no “think positive.”
Start here
Great in Practice, Falls Apart in Competition: The Two Mindsets
“why is my kid great in practice but falls apart in competition”
Practice and competition need opposite mindsets. The four phases of performance, what each one is for, and a parent's job in every one of them.
- before
“Don’t Be Nervous” Doesn’t Work. Here Is What to Say
“what do I say to my nervous kid before a game”
The mind cannot process 'don't'. How a list of don'ts trains the mistake into the body, and how to check your athlete's language and your own.
- before
How to Define Success Before a Competition
“how do I take the pressure off my kid before a big competition”
When the result is the only score, every competition is a verdict. How to help your athlete define success up front, from things they control.
- every day
Stop Telling, Start Asking: How to Talk So Your Athlete Owns It
“my teenager won't listen to me about their sport”
The more you tell a teenage athlete, the less of it is theirs. Why asking works better than instructing, and what the questions sound like.
- after
What to Say in the Car After a Bad Competition
“what do I say to my kid in the car after a bad game”
The ride home is a recovery window, not a conversation window. What to leave out, what to do instead, and when the real conversation happens.
- during
What You Watch From the Stands Is What They Carry Into the Arena
“how should I act at my kid's games”
Your focus on competition day becomes your athlete's focus. Why coaching from the stands backfires, and what to care about instead.
- every day
Why Comparing Your Athlete to Others Backfires, Even When They Win the Comparison
“my kid compares herself to everyone else”
To a teenager, even 'you're better than her' can land as pressure. Why comparison works against performance, and what to say instead.
Nothing here yet for that moment. More pages are on the way.